9 sure-fire ways to increase black mould growth in your home

Who remembers the weird and wonderful experiments we did in school? If you had fun growing mould in containers to show off to your family and friends, then this guide is for you. If you’d like to take that experiment and make your own, adult-sized version, you can transform your squeaky clean home into a wonderfully wet, slimy hive for black mould.

9 tips for encouraging mould growth

Think you can’t generate the ideal conditions for mould to grow in your home? Think again. Here are some guaranteed ways to speed up the growth of dangerous black mould.

1. Have long, hot showers

Have very long, hot showers and often! Encourage your family and housemates to do the same. Make sure you keep your windows closed and the door shut so all that lovely steam fills up your bathroom - why go to the spa for a steam room when you can make your own?

When you’re finally finished, fling open the door and emerge in a haze of water vapour to express your love of a long hot shower. Watch with satisfaction as the tendrils of steam travel throughout your home and fog every glass surface.

2. Boil, brew and bubble

Like to cook? Great - if it can be boiled, whack it in a pan. We want to see as many bubbling pots as possible. Imagine you’re on MasterChef or in an episode of The Bear, whipping up a steamy storm. Treat each ingredient like a contaminated object - give it its own personal pan so you use every hob on your cooker. If you boil a kettle first, you can create said cloud in half the time, producing your desired results quicker. 

If you have an extractor fan - you don’t anymore; forget it even exists. You can throw away your pan lids too, while you’re at it. Unleash the steam.

3. Dry clothes indoors

If you’ve got a washing line outside, cut it down. Drying clothes is now an inside job. Putting a pair of socks on the radiator should illicit a puff of steam like pouring water on some sauna coals. Over time, a musty smell may emerge as you continue to do this - this means that it’s working. Simply wrinkle your nose and carry on. 

4. Stack up your furniture

No one likes seeing an empty wall in their home, so why not decorate it with furniture? Push your sofa right up against the wall, followed by any chairs and tables you may have, ensuring there are no gaps between each item and your wall. 

And why stop there? You have your foundation - keep stacking. Pile up your cabinets, drawers, mirrors, shelves and even plants against the wall, slotting them together like Tetris until there are no more gaps to fill. Feng Shui? No way. Keep your furniture where it is, for always. Why let the air in the room circulate when you could achieve a high score?

5. Banish fresh air

Imagine you’re bunkering down for hibernation, bolting all windows and sealing your doors shut, never to be opened again, turning your home into a hermetically sealed box. Ventilation is overrated anyway. 

So, now you’ve locked the doors and sealed your windows - what next? If you own a fan, throw it in the bin. Switch off your bathroom and kitchen extractor fans, as well as any other ventilation units in your home. These fans and vents will only encourage circulation and provide another opportunity for fresh air to fill your home. Yuck! 

You might as well unplug your dehumidifier while you’re at it - while it doesn’t contribute to overall ventilation, you don’t want it touching any of that precious stale, moisture-laden air. 

6. Counting drips

Got a leaky pipe? A missing roof tile? Rather than fixing the issue, think of this as an opportunity to welcome more moisture into your home. Most people will hurry up a ladder or call in a professional, but instead, you should simply pull up a chair, get comfy and watch the water slowly drip into your walls. 

This is especially useful if you can’t sleep, your TV is broken or the Wi-Fi keeps cutting out. Instead of counting sheep or watching paint dry, you can count droplets of water until you’re sound asleep. 

7. Turn off your heating 

Mould loves cold surfaces. Make your whole house a cold surface. Our ancestors did without heating, and so can we. Switch off your boiler, blow out any candles and grab your wooly hat - you’ll certainly need it for this step. 

You’re getting pretty close now to creating the perfectly cold, stale environment that you need. If you start to see icicles forming on the tip of your nose, don’t worry - summer is around the corner and you’ll be defrosting before you know it.

8. Bridging your DPC

Don’t know what a DPC is? Don’t worry. Just get outside and start piling up earth and any old junk around your outside walls. It’s a one-way ticket for moisture to seep into your home, perfect for those damp conditions we, and mould, love. 

The important thing here is to fling the excess soil at your wall, watching the pile grow and grow until you’ve bridged your DPC, you, and maybe even your whole house. As the wet soil piles up and compresses, it’ll dispel some of its moisture into your home, creating tidemarks along your internal walls, which should eventually turn into black mould. 

 9. Embrace the mess

If you’ve been following our advice, then your home should be pretty mouldy by now. You should have windows dripping with condensation, bathroom and kitchen slick with moisture and growing damp patches on your walls and ceilings. Your steam production will have gone into overdrive too. Well done you!

Now, abandon all cleaning. Throw away your dishcloths and cleaning products and become the worst possible version of yourself. Want to look out of your steamy window? You can’t - Google images of the outside world instead. Put on your twentieth load of washing today? Don’t even hang it out to dry - let it fester inside the machine. Mushrooms growing in your basement? Great. One less item for the shopping list.

Damp and mould growth in your home

The above list provides plenty of ways of encouraging damp and mould throughout your home. As you can see, each method is simple and can take no time at all, meaning that, if you keep up the routine, you’ll see black spots speckling your walls in no time. 

However, as fun as much of this sounds, black mould is ugly, stressful, causes damage and, most importantly, can be bad for your health. For this reason, we’d always recommend identifying the issue and removing mould from your home rather than following the tips above. You should actually think of that list as an example of things you shouldn’t do if you’d like your home to be safe, clean and mould-free. 

Removing mould

To properly remove mould from your home, you need to remove the spores for good. Many turn to bleach, vinegar or off-the-shelf cleaners, but they are likely to only remove what’s on the surface and temporarily. We offer permanent solutions to damp and mould, coupled with technical advice to help ensure each product is applied correctly:

• Before removing the mould, you first need to know what’s causing it. Get a professional to diagnose the issue - search for PCA-approved specialists here.
• Improve ventilation throughout your home - you can start with a localised approach, open windows and condensation vents and cross-ventilate. Installing units such as a Perma-Vent in the affected room. If the issue affects your whole house, then a larger ventilation system is needed, like a PIV unit. Read our guide to ventilating your home.
• Start making small lifestyle changes - such as drying clothes outdoors, using a tumble dryer or, as a last resort, inside with a dehumidifer running. Cover pans when cooking and take smaller, less hot showers, and open the window after.
• Remove the mould itself - you can do this using our all-in-one Mould Remover Kit. This handy kit contains a mould wash concentrate that kills mould spores, making sure they don’t come back. 

Our PermaPROTECT range is a collection of our popular mould removal products, all designed to remove and prevent mould growth quickly and easily. They’re HSE-approved when required for further peace of mind, meaning you can be confident when shopping with Permagard. Bigger issue? Speak to us. We stock damp proof membranes, liquid DPC creams and hundreds of other professional products that deliver lasting solutions.

Lasting solutions. Proven protection. 

If you’re struggling to sort out a mould problem or want to ensure your home is protected from future issues, we can help. Browse our range of mould removal and ventilation products and get in touch if you have any questions.